Being Overwhelmed Maybe a Sign of Playing the People-Pleaser Role
By Lindsay Leimbach
A person who plays the People-Pleaser Role appears to be thoughtful, even mindful. They often support anyone with a need. In addition, they can be very well-liked and engaging.
The problem for the person playing the People-Pleaser Role is that they tend to know what everyone else needs accept themselves. They can become overwhelmed by serving others and running out of energy for themselves. They are seen as kind, and they really are. However, the person playing the People-Pleaser Role is usually looking for approval of some sort. They believe by making others happy, they themselves will be happy. Therefore, they do what they can to please others, hoping to gain some control and approval from others and the world.
This hope of control and approval rarely happens the way a person in the People-Pleaser Role envisions it. Their expectation for others' responses is rarely met. As often, they can over-commit themselves and end up disappointing people when they can't follow through on everything. When these expectations are not met, they can feel doubt and worry. This activates more people-pleasing behavior. And the cycle continues. This is why the Role of a People-Pleaser often leads to feelings of being anxious, burned out, and even depressed.
Another problem for a person in the People-Pleaser Role is that they will often fall into relationships with people who are takers. Takers love to have a People-Pleasing friend. The takers keep taking because the pleasers keep giving. This can be overwhelming to those doing the pleasing. The People-Pleaser begins to feel overwhelmed and resentful in the relationship and has reoccurring feelings of self-doubt. This cycle will continue until one person will detach and let go. This person usually has to be the person in the People-Pleasing Role because what incentive is there for the taker to do so?
Here are three quick questions that might indicate that you are taking on the People-Pleasing Role:
1. Are you overwhelmed by all the things you have to do?
2. Do you feel if you don’t do something, others will become angry with you?
3. Do you have relationships with people who don’t reciprocate?
There is a lot to learn about The People-Pleasing Role, such as it is learned at a very young age.
If you’re taking on the People-Pleaser Role, you can be Happy! You don’t have to feel overwhelmed!!!