A Trip to the ER and How Self-Compassion Changed My Life

Tremendous pain shot up my back. How could I be in so much pain sitting at Paradise Cove, Malibu, with my parents, children, and a fabulous new husband? Somehow my back didn't care where I sat or who I sat with. I started to complain to my husband, and he knew something was wrong. I was stoic; complaining was not in my vocabulary.
He loaded me in the car and drove me to the ER. This was the first time I've ever been to the ER for myself. Tests were taken, and we realized that I had an aneurysm on my spleen, and I was stressed out.

This is a happy, stressed-out. I know that is a paradox, but it was very true.

You know when the airplane stewardess tells you to put your oxygen mask on first and then help others? Well, that's not what I was doing. I was giving oxygen to my job, my family, and more to my job. I was holding my breath and thinking positively. I was not being compassionate to myself even though I was being compassionate to everyone else. This is a recipe for a physical disaster, which I was putting into motion in my life.

I won't go into the details of the operation, but I will tell you this operation was the beginning of a beautiful life. I realized that the oxygen mask had to go on me first. The mask is called self-compassion. Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and understanding towards oneself as you would be towards your friends, family, and work. It means treating myself with the same compassion that I would show to someone else who is of need or struggling.

I had a monumental mindset shift.

I Faced the reality that nothing was more important than my health. I couldn't do my job well, and I couldn't enjoy my children or my husband if I was unhealthy. I was aware that I was unwell and stressed.

I was able to Focus on the root cause of the stressful situation. My root cause was that I believed being a workaholic would earn me a badge of honor. This was a cultural belief that I learned at a young age.

I became Free to choose a self-compassionate mindset instead of a thought pattern that did not serve me. Self-compassion is now my badge of honor.

I made self-compassionate changes that allowed me to Flow in a Calm, Centered, and Creative Mindset.

I am aware of my inner judge. This voice in my head can be quite critical and judgmental. When I notice my inner judger, I practice noticing the negative thoughts and replacing them with accepting and compassionate thoughts. Some of my self-compassionate thoughts are: "That is enough for today.", "Don't sweat the small stuff.", "Well done, you have a lot on your plate."

I accept my flaws and mistakes. I am perfectly imperfect. Everyone makes mistakes. This is how I learn and grow.

I am kind to myself. I started to treat myself with personal time, took lunch breaks, walks, and meditation. I stopped taking the office home. I became more present in the moment.

I practiced mindfulness. I became aware of my thoughts and feelings in the present moment. I began to accept my thoughts and feelings without judgment. This was a big turning point in my journey to become a Mindfulness Teacher and Coach.

Facing my situation was the first step. Focusing on it led me to understand the root cause. My Freedom came from the transformational shift from believing being a workaholic was a positive mindset to believing the practice of self-compassionate was positive mindset. From here, I began to Flow easily into my job, family, and my present-day mindfulness career. Life is good!!!

When you practice self-compassion, what do you do? Please share your tips so others can learn from you.

Thank You!