5 Tips for Dealing with Your Inner Judge
By Lindsay Leimbach
Were you ever about to do something - and then suddenly, that voice inside your head starts talking?
Why did you do that? You’re a bad person. No one wants to talk to you. You will never achieve anything in life.
That negative voice inside your head that compares, criticizes, or demeans you is your inner Judge. Your inner judge plays a critical role in how you see yourself and your self-esteem.
When you don’t know how to deal with your inner judge, you can feel ashamed, worthless, or low on self-esteem.
Your inner judge might undermine your every accomplishment. Or it might show up as you enter a room of people you’ve never met before. That harsh inner judge can lead to self-doubt or lack of confidence.
When you let your inner judge control too many of your actions, it could hold you back from things like growth, connection, and your full potential.
Even though the way we think influences how we behave, those thoughts we have are not always true! They are just thoughts and can be shifted. It would be best if you had mindful awareness and the understanding that you can shift your thoughts at any time.
Become aware (Facing), accept, and learn (Focusing). When negative thoughts come up, Face your thoughts. Don’t try to hide or dismiss them. Instead, become aware, accept, and learn the source of where your thoughts are coming from. Ask yourself these reflective questions when Focusing on your negative thoughts:
● How old do I feel right now?
● Why do I feel this way?
● What are some patterns I recognize?
● Where do these thoughts come from?
● How do these thoughts affect my behavior?
What advice would you give a friend? If a friend came to you in the same situation as you feel, what advice would you give to them? Many times, we are harder on ourselves than we are with others. Be your own best friend will help you become Free,
Separate facts from feelings. Your brain might be hardwired from past experiences to think that no one cares about you or that you’re an unworthy person. But is that actually a fact? Practice mindfully sorting through facts and your feelings.
● What is another, more positive way you could look at the situation?
Practice self-acceptance and self-trust. Replace negative or critical thoughts with accepting and compassionate ones. Have a selection of empowering, compassionate beliefs that you can use as affirmations for yourself instead of succumbing to negative ones. Believe that you can trust yourself to move forward.
● Remember times that you have done well in challenging situations.
● Focus on your strengths and what you are good at.
Mindfully be aware when you start replaying mistakes in your head. Have you ever made a mistake and replayed those moments over and over again? That doesn’t resolve the issue. If you find you’re ruminating instead of actively problem-solving, consciously choose to shift your thoughts.
Take a Conscious Breath
Try the Stress Shifter Free App at StressShifter,com
Take a walk.
Do something creative
Spend time with a positive influence: a person, an animal, or a Podcast
Think of something you are grateful for
Help someone else
Remember that everyone has an inner judge. Having an inner voice that sees negativity is a human function. It comes from the parts of our brain that evolved to protect ourselves. If you find yourself in a loop of critical thoughts, remind yourself that every human experiences self-doubt at one point or another.
Your inner Judge does not have to control your life! Taking these steps to become aware (Face), accept, and then shift your inner judge, while nurturing a more empowering inner dialogue can help you grow (Freeing) and live life in the Flow.
There’s a difference between that harmful voice telling you that you are not good enough and wanting to improve yourself. Use the tips above to tame your inner judge so you can reach your full potential and Play Life Full Out!
Learn more about Facing, Focusing, Freeing and Flowing with the Stress Shifter On-Line Course.